Numb.

I cannot feel my hands. I knows it is trembling, I can see it as I typed down this post. I don’t want to do this but I wanted to shout, I wanted to cry and to talk to somebody, anybody. 

I don’t have any plans of coming back to the Philippines too soon. Actually, I don’t have any intentions of coming back. But things happen and it happens fast. After nanay called last Saturday and broke the news to me, I already made calls to settle everything related to work. At an instant I knew what to do, I knew what to give up and what to let go except for one thing, the little time he has on earth.

To make the long story short, Monday afternoon after I settled everything at work, I flew back to the Philippines, visited him in the hospital and little do I know that it will be the last time that we will be laughing at each others’ stories. 

Earlier today, he already bid goodbye. Sadness is an understatement of what I am feeling now. But I don’t want to be miserable again. I have to escape and I think I know where I will be going.